This is why she always ends up in my goddamn bed.

Figured out how to get the 8yo to play more chess with me.

Just because you can’t trick or treat doesn’t mean you can’t look rad.

(Costumes by @rhondahellard)

Steampunking.

Not even Iowa.

Taming the mighty Bow.

Friday, Friday Gettin' down on Friday

Home improvements in 2020 are fucked up.

First day at Dystopia Elementary.

Last day of summer ice cream.

Started ticking these off every morning when school was cancelled. Guess I can stop for a bit now.

Spumoni.

Fucking nature and stuff.

A day without brothers.

Wiffle day. Here is @heyturner’s daughter making him look stupid.

How do you tell that to fuck off and go to sleep already it’s like eleven o’clock the fuck is wrong with you

We have expanded our circle a bit and for the first time in 73 days, Thea has a playmate. I cannot overstate how huge that is.

She was inspired.

He’s Calvin and Hobbesing under an apple tree.

Sidewalk is getting replaced. Easily gonna be like 9 time units killed.

If anyone sees my kids, tell them to fuck off.

I introduced Calvin & Hobbes books a few days ago and it’s become a major time unit killer.

Space man.

Converted the fort in the backyard into a spaceship using broken shit from my garage. Successfully killed 7 time units.

shoveover made me a mask. The hat, on the other hand, is a lifestyle choice.

We’ve decided to try and make money via backyard wrestling.

Look at this stoic asshole.

Sick of sidewalks and river paths so we’ve started using the alleys for our daily walk.

The quiet isn’t always so bad.

Happy National Siblings Day to my brother John, pictured here with some girl.

I absolutely wrecked him.

Have you ever tried to explain to a 4yo why they can’t lick everything?

Destroyer of worlds.

Today’s phys ed class: dig a hole. I’m out of ideas.

He’s trying to will the ball into my goal with his mind.

And on the afternoon of the 11th day… we fucked off entirely.

Mo Willems art at lunch has become the high point of our day.

When screen o’clock hits.

Wednesday in the dungeon.

She’s pretty when she talks about art.

Off to daycare to fuck up some of the other kids with body slams and elbow drops.

I lost. (She cheats.)